On Regret… 

 

More than anything else, I regret the time I’ve wasted on regrets. 

Mistakes and missed opportunities can be soul-crushing. One’s past should be a source of knowledge and wisdom for the future, but unfortunately, we sometimes let it dominate our present. Don’t relegate your fate to the past. That being said, everyone needs time to process their pain. Personally, I always let myself feel. I rest, cry, share, and write in order to deal with the emotions, but I do not repress my feelings. If, after some time has passed, I’m still saddened or hurt, I ask myself “Why?” To dwell on a mistake is to dwell on the emotions that flow from it. Doesn’t it make more sense to solve problems than to focus on how they make me feel? When I know it’s time to move on, I usually ask myself the following questions: 

1. Was this really a mistake, or was it out of my control?
2. What can I learn from this mistake?
3. What could I have done differently?
4. What can I do to remedy the consequences (How can I solve the problem that caused this)?
5. If there is nothing I can do, how can I learn to accept the past?

If we don’t work toward a resolution, precious time is wasted. Regret kills motivation. After some time, you may start to withdraw and neglect your responsibilities. It will eventually destroy your discipline. As you

Continue reading ➞ Regret: The Toughest Teacher

On Nostalgia…

 

Along with others of my generation, I have a fascination for earlier times. I often contrast my warm, comfortable childhood with my chaotic life today. Like old Polaroids, with their unique tint and unfortunate Red Eye, my first memories linger, however faded. I recall watching my brother play Super Mario World on the SNES, and I especially miss winter visits to Rockefeller Center. I couldn’t tell you exactly when these occurred, but I guess the feelings that remain are more important than the specifics that don’t. Sometimes, I even fantasize about the days before I was born. What was it like to walk around the rubble of the Bronx, or to see Commando when it first came out? Would I have been a punk, a Yuppie, or a b-boy? Those days are mostly known from the cautious tales of my parents. The 80’s and early 90’s were amazing, apparently. Anyway, I’ve been preoccupied with the past lately, and it’s caused me to reflect on my nostalgia. Where does this longing for the past come from? Is it unhealthy and unproductive, or a comforting reminder of where you came from? What is it about the 80’s and 90’s in particular that draws the attention of so many? Is this a non-issue?

A good friend of mine made a profound comment during a phone call yesterday. To paraphrase, he said that nostalgia is harmful when it arises from despair for the future. It’s true. The past is defined. The future is full

Continue reading ➞ Nostalgia: How Much is too Much?