On Nostalgia…
Along with others of my generation, I have a fascination for earlier times. I often contrast my warm, comfortable childhood with my chaotic life today. Like old Polaroids, with their unique tint and unfortunate Red Eye, my first memories linger, however faded. I recall watching my brother play Super Mario World on the SNES, and I especially miss winter visits to Rockefeller Center. I couldn’t tell you exactly when these occurred, but I guess the feelings that remain are more important than the specifics that don’t. Sometimes, I even fantasize about the days before I was born. What was it like to walk around the rubble of the Bronx, or to see Commando when it first came out? Would I have been a punk, a Yuppie, or a b-boy? Those days are mostly known from the cautious tales of my parents. The 80’s and early 90’s were amazing, apparently. Anyway, I’ve been preoccupied with the past lately, and it’s caused me to reflect on my nostalgia. Where does this longing for the past come from? Is it unhealthy and unproductive, or a comforting reminder of where you came from? What is it about the 80’s and 90’s in particular that draws the attention of so many? Is this a non-issue?
A good friend of mine made a profound comment during a phone call yesterday. To paraphrase, he said that nostalgia is harmful when it arises from despair for the future. It’s true. The past is defined. The future is full of uncertainty. Unless you are strong, self-doubt can strongly influence where you’ll go, and we are aware of this. At times, the future may even seem to be beyond our control, hopeless. The definite may provide fleeting comfort, but no one can go far walking backwards. They will surely stumble and be forced to face what tripped them. Personally, I have wasted many days looking towards the past and neglecting the present. Realizing this has greatly helped me put my life in perspective. Where does this leave us? Is nostalgia inherently bad? I don’t believe so, but like all good things, it must be taken in moderation.
My parents and grandparents often speak of their childhoods. They tell tall tales from the countryside, like the painfully slow hop and drop of a donkey cart, or how they narrowly avoided dismemberment and leaped onto a moving train car. No matter how nice their past may sound, they continue to look to the future with hope and anticipation. I believe it’s because they know many things are better now than they were in the past. They never claimed to have “peaked”. Perhaps that is a defining characteristic of the immigrant experience, a trait which grants them the strength and positivity to keep moving forward. In fact, I almost mistook my father for a Daoist yesterday. I was dealing with a personal problem, and he said, “Son, there’s no such thing as bad things or good things in life. If something happens, it is what it is. You won’t know if it’s good or bad immediately.” In a way, that was the most comforting thing he could have said, before he ruined it with a dad joke I’m glad I don’t remember.
FLASHBACK to the 80’s and 90’s! It’s my opinion that a confluence of commercialization and digital innovation contributed to our collective nostalgia for this time period. So basically commercials, cassettes, and music videos make us miss those times… I remember waking up to the alarm clock as a kid, lying in bed and listening to hits such as Africa by Toto, or Heat of the Moment by Asia (I know, my taste in music is a little corny 🙁 ) I believe the radio, combined with the music my parents loved to play, gave me warm feelings for this time period. When YouTube came out in 2005, I was able to associate those old hits with their music videos, which I could now watch. Those aesthetics inspired genres such as Vaporwave and Synthwave, which I listen to today. There was even a series on VH1 called “I love the ___” with guest stars recalling their experiences and memories with old music videos. I believe this collective nostalgia predisposed us to feel the way we do. My story is probably not unique. Do you remember something similar?
All in all, nostalgia can be great. It is a reminder of the times we shared with those we held dear. It can be a source of hope for those in desperate situations and a muse of children’s stories everywhere. It can inspire! Bryan Adams said in “The Summer of 69”:
“That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, I’d always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life”
It can also be a chain that binds us, making us blind to the possibility of the future. Like Steve Perry said in “Separate Ways”:
“Break those chains that bind you!”
Do you see what I did there? As always, thanks for reading the meditations of a bald, brown man. (No, I’m not Marcus Aurelius 😉 )
-Miles
I think too much nostalgia is when it disrupts you from being happy. It is okay to be nostalgic on occasion, but if you’re constantly comparing the your current emotions to the past, you forget to enjoy the moment for what it is. As time goes on, memories fade, but I think the emotion tied to the memory lingers ever present. I don’t remember many things from when I was in elementary school, but I remember the sun, the smiles, the laughs. I don’t remember the exact details of being with my ex-girlfriends, but I remember their touch, their smiles, and finding comfort/steadiness in their being. You always have to strive to make new memories, lest you getting caught in a rut.
Thank you for your comment! Yes I agree. If you aren’t doing well, the good times of the past can provide some comfort, but you must continue to accept the present, and make it as enjoyable and meaningful as you can. I’ve had trouble doing this as of late. What you said about memories fading reminds me of a Maya Angelou quote: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Anyway, thanks again for your comment, I really needed that reminder.